Worrying is like sitting in a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesn’t get you anywhere.
-English Proverb
The day of my maternal fetal medicine scan, 10/31, I was a little nervous, but not too worried. My OB assured me that the scans looked good, but these pictures were necessary to get the “complete picture”. My husband was busy with work, but thankfully my mom was with us for the weekend (and my birthday which was a couple days later) and was able to come with me.
When we got there the doctor was running a little late; he was coming in from Baton Rouge. The nurse/ tech got a head start and would fill the doctor in once he arrive. Baby girl was, again, in a horrible position. This time she was facing down with her spine up towards my rib cage – it gave us a beautiful picture of her spine, but made it difficult to see the heart. When the doctor finally arrived, he came right in and worked on locating the heart and the images my OB needed. Unfortunately little girls rib cage was blocking half her heart, but the half he could see made him worried. He said it seemed small and underdeveloped and he wanted to make an appointment for me to see a pediatric cardiologist ASAP.
I hated that my husband was not there. My OB assured me everything looked fine before my MFM appointment, but this didn’t sound fine. I was now terrified. My mom told me not to worry; that it was probably just her position and the shadows of her rib cage must be messing with the images. I thought that must be true. My OB hadn’t lied to me yet. This must have been a mistake and I shouldn’t let myself get worked up for no reason.
An appointment to see the pediatric cardiologist was made for me a week or so later. Until then, I kept on doing what I had been.
My co-workers got together and planned a baby shower for me the weekend before I went home for Thanksgiving, and my mother was putting together a baby shower for me for the weekend after Thanksgiving. I was helping both of them out with questions they had about what we wanted to do at them (after all, it was coming up quickly…only about 3 more weeks!). I was also getting the baby’s nursery together. I had the room painted, the crib all set up, the dresser/changing table coming along, and a glider ready for me to feed and rock my baby girl in. I was keeping my mind occupied and trying not to worry.
For Grief's Sake 