PCOS Sucks

Good things come to those who wait. Better things come to those who try.

Nishan Panwar

In those 4 months of tracking my ovulation, I ovulated a total of 2 times, each one about 60 days long. I felt defeated. In that time, my husband got his seminal fluid retested and it was A-Okay. He was given two thumbs up.

It was clear that our trouble getting pregnant was no longer “our” trouble, but mine alone. Back to the OB I went.

Once there, I showed her my ovulation tracking and she was not happy. 60 days was far too long for an ovulation. She immediately prescribed a medication called Clomid and started me off at the lowest dose of 50mg. I was to take it once a day for five days starting on day 4 of my period and continue tracking my ovulation per previous instructions. She also told me to call her when my ovulation sticks indicated I had ovulated so she could track how well the Clomid was working for me.

She then proceeded to warn my husband that Clomid was going to do a number on my hormones – a few of my coworkers informed me of this too.

Well this can’t be good…

So here went – Round 3; rounds 1 & 2 were without clomid, round 3 with it. I went to the pharmacy, picked up my medication, drove home, and balled my eyes out. All I could think was how my body had failed me. My body, couldn’t do what a woman’s body was supposed to do and now I had to rely on medicine. It just wasn’t fair.

Later that week I started my period. My first round of Clomid had come and gone. The pill is absolutely disgusting by the way. Small background story – I cant swallow pills. I have a bit of a choking phobia. So as long as I can chew it, I do – otherwise doctors have to find another way of getting it into my system. Continuing on…

Sure enough, I ovulated sooner than I had without Clomid. Problem was, I ovulated on day 34, which means I’m having a 48-ish day cycle. Better than 60? Absolutely. I called my doctor and let her know when I ovulated. She said exactly what I was thinking – not good enough. She bumped up my dose to 100mg a day for my next round.

In the meantime, my husband had informed me of a yeast infection he had obtained. Too much sugar on a recent cruise along with his rising A1C had made it extremely painful to have sex. He persisted, however, as I was not going to let that Clomid go to waste.

My period ended up starting 14 days later which meant I did not get pregnant. Round 4 began – 100mg of Clomid (2 pills a day). This time, it REALLY affected my hormones. I was crying every so often, then angry, then fine again all within a matter of 10 minutes. At one point I told my coworker how intense it was for me, and she knew EXACTLY what I was talking about. She too had been on Clomid at one point and she said it made her mean. I couldn’t control my emotions. Those hormones were through the roof. Women have years and years of practice dealing with these wild hormones, but I had been on birth control for so long, I never needed to “control” my hormones. They were controlled for me. Now that I was off, I couldn’t believe how out of practice I was (and that was an understatement).

A week went by and I finished my 2nd round of Clomid. Shortly after, my husband informed me he had to go to Chicago for training/ orientation (he had recently started a new job). I asked what dates he would be gone and his answer made me livid. He was going to be gone the week I was supposed to be ovulating! Round 4 became an instant BUST. I did end up ovulating around day 16/17 which meant I had a 31/32 day ovulation cycle. My OB was beyond pleased and kept me at this dose of Clomid.

My husband did end up leaving a few days before I ovulated. There was definitely no chance I was getting pregnant this round. At least we found the correct dose of Clomid and we would be prepared and ready for Round 5.

Published by Lisa

I'm a research chemist who lives in Louisiana. I travel as much as I can and love doing so (especially Disney, it's my jam). I live with my husband of 3 years, my 3 furbabies, and was a mom to a beautiful baby girl, Adriana Sophia, for 12 days until her passing

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